before the winter's over / tsuina-chan lite

being chronically ill means that going outside in the winter feels like getting crushed by a hydraulic press. unfortunately, the same thing happens during every other season, but i still miss being able to enjoy my favorite season without every part of my body screaming in pain the moment i step outside. art by chooine / 竹壹 on piapro https://piapro.jp/t/V9bi https://piapro.jp/chooine sample used: butterflysoup by matryoshka vocal synth used: tsuina-chan ai lite synthesizer v studio basic bpm: 174 off vocal (+ humming) - https://piapro.jp/t/h2ig off vocal (no humming) - https://piapro.jp/t/4j35 lyrics: i shouldn't fear the process and truths that i've outgrown i used to love the winter i used to call it home and one day i'll awaken a new amnesiac i used to love the winter it doesn't love me back and it's harder to break, sometimes and it's too much to take, sometimes i know it's not the same "sometimes" all names will fall away from me it's not worth it to die, i know out of sight, out of mind, i know but i'll run out of time, i know it slowly slips away from me away from me... i could just drown in silence her voice is my favorite sound that i don't get to hear much of anymore it's festering and blistering and everything in between this burning and deteriorating empathy can't be the only way to live the only way to live and it's harder to break, sometimes and it's too much to take, sometimes i know it's not the same "sometimes" all names will fall away from me it's not worth it to die, i know out of sight, out of mind, i know but i'll run out of time, i know it slowly slips away from me breaking apart, all gone before the winter's over there are only fragments of the memories that all remain in my heart in my brain i will gladly suffocate if it's meant to be for that memory of a healthy me #synthesizerv #synthv #vocalsynth #vocaloid